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Stu Barnes Coaching
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stubarnescoaching

Executive Coach | Empowering growth and transformation in Mid-Career Professionals through Career, Leadership and Personal Development
THE CONFIDENCE WOBBLE The one thing we don’t talk THE CONFIDENCE WOBBLE The one thing we don’t talk about enough with career shifts: 👉 Before they build your confidence — they often unsettle it. Even when the move is right.
Even when it’s chosen.
Even when it’s aligned. 👉 Because confidence is often tied to familiarity:
 Knowing the landscape.
Knowing the language.
Knowing you’re seen as credible. 👉 You shift the context — and your confidence has to renegotiate its footing. I felt this myself when I moved into professional coaching. I had experience.  I had transferable skills.  I had conviction about the direction. But I no longer had history in the role.  Or reputation in the room.  Or the shorthand that comes with years in one lane. And for a while, that’s uncomfortable.  Not because I was incapable — but because I was becoming capable in a new way. 👉 The good news? Here’s what I’ve since seen — in myself and in many clients: Confidence doesn’t survive career shifts unchanged.  It gets rebuilt — on stronger foundations. Less is borrowed from titles.  Less dependent on approval.  More grounded in evidence and self-trust. Early-stage confidence says: “I know I can do this.” Rebuilt confidence says: “I know I can learn this.” That’s more durable. And more transferable. If you’re in the wobble stage of a career shift, something isn’t wrong.
You’re in the strengthening phase — not the failing phase. 👉 Confidence isn’t lost in a career shift. It’s under reconstruction. #coaching #midcareer #career #shifts #stubarnescoaching
CLIENT TESTIMONIAL — CLAIRE Choosing the right co CLIENT TESTIMONIAL — CLAIRE Choosing the right coach matters. Here’s how Claire described her experience working with me. This testimonial reflects what collaboration with my clients really looks like and the impact it creates. You’ll find more client recommendations on my profile. #coaching #midcareer #client #testimonial #stubarnescoaching
WHAT MY OWN CAREER TAUGHT ME Career shifts rarely WHAT MY OWN CAREER TAUGHT ME Career shifts rarely feel the way they’re described. They’re often presented as bold, decisive, energising. 
In reality, they’re usually slower, quieter, and more psychologically demanding than that. Across my own career shifts — including moving from a long-term, stable career into coaching — here’s what proved true that I didn’t fully understand at the time: 🌿 The shift starts internally long before it shows up externally.
 🌿 The role changes last. The identity changes first. 🌿 Clarity didn’t arrive as a lightning bolt. It arrived as a repeated nudge I eventually stopped ignoring. 🌿 Confidence didn’t come before the move — it grew because of the move. Action built belief, not the other way round. 🌿 Not everyone understood — and that mattered less than I expected. The people who needed to understand, did. 🌿 I had to let go of being known for something before I was ready to be new at something else. That’s a bigger step emotionally than it sounds. 🌿 Some strengths transferred immediately. Others didn’t — and my ego needed a quiet word. 🌿 The most useful question wasn’t “What should I do next?” It was “What feels more true now?” The biggest insight of all: 🌿 A good career shift isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about becoming more aligned with who you already are. I see this with many mid-career professionals I work with.
 What looks uncertain from the outside is often honest from the inside. Not a reinvention. A realignment. If you’re in a season of shift, it doesn’t need to be dramatic to be meaningful. It just needs to be true. #coaching #midcareer #career #transitions #stubarnescoaching
THE QUIET MID-CAREER TRUTH There’s a version of m THE QUIET MID-CAREER TRUTH There’s a version of mid-career that gets talked about publicly — progress, seniority, experience, credibility. And then there’s the quieter, more private version I hear in coaching conversations every week. It sounds more like this: 💬 “I should feel more settled than I do.”
💬 “I’ve achieved what I aimed for — so why does it feel thinner than expected?”
💬 “I’m carrying more responsibility, but less certainty.”
💬 “I don’t want to start again — but I can’t keep going like this.” Mid-career brings a unique emotional mix that rarely makes it into job descriptions or leadership frameworks: 👉 Capability — but also fatigue
👉 Experience — but also questioning
👉 Authority — but also exposure
👉 Choice — but also constraint
👉 Success — but also restlessness By this stage, most people know how to perform. 
What they’re less sure about is whether the performance still fits. You’ve built the skills.
You’ve carried the load.
You’ve become reliable, valuable, trusted. But somewhere along the way, a quieter question starts to surface: ❓“Is this still mine?” Not a crisis.
Not ingratitude.
Not failure. More often, it’s a sign of psychological growth trying to catch up with career momentum. This is the part of mid-career that deserves more honest conversation — not quick fixes, not bold leaps, but thoughtful reflection. Because when people are given space to explore this well, what emerges isn’t collapse — it’s clarity. If this is a conversation you’re having internally but not out loud, you’re not unusual — you’re human. And it’s exactly the kind of space coaching is designed to hold. #coaching #midcareer #professional #leadership #stubarnescoaching
KINTSUGI I’ve been fascinated recently by Kintsug KINTSUGI I’ve been fascinated recently by Kintsugi — the 500-year-old Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold. Instead of hiding the cracks, they highlight them. The break becomes part of the story.
 Not something to disguise. Not something to apologise for. Something to honour. It made me think about mid-career and mid-life. By our 40s and 50s, most of us carry visible and invisible cracks: 🏺 The roles that didn’t work out
🏺 The redundancy or restructuring
🏺 The exhaustion, stress and burnout
🏺 The difficult leadership season
🏺 The personal challenges that reshaped us Early in our careers, we try to appear seamless. Polished. Uncracked. But the longer I coach — and the longer I live — the more I see this: ✨ The cracks are often where the wisdom sits. ✨ The failed roles that built discernment.
✨ The tough feedback that sharpened self-awareness.
✨ The setback that clarified values.
✨ The burnout that enabled better boundaries. Kintsugi doesn’t pretend the break never happened.  It makes the repair visible — even beautiful. Mid-career isn’t about maintaining the illusion of perfection.
 It’s about integrating the whole story. Not despite the cracks. Because of them. How will you let your breaks shine through? #coaching #midcareer #midlife #kintsugi #stubarnescoaching
F$%K UP NIGHTS  “F$%k Up Nights” in your organisa F$%K UP NIGHTS  “F$%k Up Nights” in your organisation? Really? Yes, really. Imagine a packed room.
 Colleagues, leaders, maybe even clients.
 And instead of a keynote about the latest success or quarterly win… 
…someone steps up to share how they messed up, big time: 🧨 They missed a major deadline
🧨 Launched a project that failed
🧨 Misjudged some external comms
🧨 Made a call they regret And then — they talk about what they learned. Welcome to the world of F$%k Up Nights: A moment where failure is shared, explored, and even celebrated — because it’s real, relatable, and rich with insight. Some of the world’s most forward-thinking companies are already embracing this mindset: 🚀 At Intuit, they hand out failure awards 🚀 At Airbnb and Google, failure is built into innovation sprints and team reflections 🚀 At LEGO, story-sharing became a turning point in their comeback culture Not to shame. Not to dwell. But to grow. COACHING & FAILURE As a coach, I work with leaders navigating growth, uncertainty, and pressure to perform.  Often, the moments they’re most afraid to share — the stumbles, wrong turns, dropped balls — are the ones with the most value for others. But only if they’re safe enough to speak about them. And supported enough to learn from them. So here’s a challenge for you: 👉 What would it take to create space in your organisation to talk about failure? #coaching #midcareer #professionals #leadership #stubarnescoaching
ARE YOU PLAYING TO YOUR STRENGTHS? In our drive t ARE YOU PLAYING TO YOUR STRENGTHS? In our drive to grow, we often focus on fixing weaknesses. It’s natural – our brains are wired to spot what’s wrong. But what if real progress came from leaning into what already works? Whether you’re job hunting, updating your CV, or seeking more fulfilment at work, understanding your strengths matters. WHAT ARE STRENGTHS? Strengths and skills often overlap, but they’re not the same: 👉🏼 Strengths are innate qualities that come naturally, energise you, and feel good to use 👉🏼 Skills are learned through experience or training – and being good at them doesn’t always mean enjoying them WHY AMPLIFY YOUR STRENGTHS? Playing to your strengths can significantly improve: ⬆️ Well-being – lower stress, more energy, better overall health ⬆️ Fulfilment – greater job satisfaction and sense of meaning ⬆️ Confidence – stronger self-belief, productivity, and self-acceptance ⬆️ Growth & resilience – greater adaptability and ability to bounce back from challenges EXPLORING YOUR STRENGTHS To get started, ask yourself: 💡 When do I feel most energised? 💡 What do others come to me for? 💡 Which strengths have shown up during past challenges? Working with mid-career professionals, I see it time and again: when people lean into their natural talents, confidence, performance, and fulfilment rise fast. What’s one strength you could amplify more right now? #coaching #midcareer #strengths #growth #stubarnescoaching
DO AND UNDO “Life is about do and undo”. I hear DO AND UNDO “Life is about do and undo”. I heard this phrase recently and it really resonated. We’re often told to build — skills, routines, resilience, success. But just as important is what we need to unlearn, let go of, or rethink. Because life — especially in our mid-careers — isn’t a straight upward climb. It’s constant work to do and undo: ♻️ We develop habits that serve us...until they don’t ♻️ We form identities at work — expert, manager, fixer, leader — that shape how we show up... and sometimes box us in ♻️ We adopt ways of thinking and being that made sense in one chapter... but need rewriting in the next Mid-career is often where this catches up with us. You might find yourself asking: ❓ How do I keep growing when I feel stuck or unsure where I’m heading? ❓ What needs to change in how I lead, now that the stakes and expectations are different? ❓ Who am I becoming — and how do I bring that version of me forward? This is the work of do and undo. COACHING & DO AND UNDO It takes curiosity, courage, and space to reflect – that’s where coaching comes in. In my work with mid-career professionals — experienced leaders, specialists stepping into bigger roles, or people questioning what’s next — I create that space: ➡️ Not to hand over answers, but to help you listen to your own ➡️ Not to pile on more ‘shoulds’, but to clarify what truly matters ➡️ Not to fix you, but to walk with you as you shed, shape, and strengthen who you are and how you lead What are you currently doing and undoing? #coaching #midcareer #professionals #reflection #stubarnescoaching
COACHING: WHAT’S IN A WORD? A consistent theme I’ COACHING: WHAT’S IN A WORD? A consistent theme I’ve noticed over my six years of coaching is the need to explain what coaching is — and what it isn’t. The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as: 🗨️ “Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” Let’s break this down: 🤝 Partnering
A collaborative, equal relationship between coach and client. The client is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole 💭 Thought-provoking
Stimulating reflection, challenging assumptions, and deepening awareness — grounded in honesty and transparency 🎨 Creative process
Using approaches such as visualisation or brainstorming to explore possibilities, including options the client may not yet have allowed themselves to consider 🌿 Client-driven
Unlocking potential across personal and professional spheres by developing awareness, clarity, confidence, and choice 🪪 Professional and ethical
This definition underpins the ICF’s ethical standards and professional practice MY COACHING APPROACH & CLIENTS  Mid-career is a powerful — and often uncomfortable — moment. I partner with mid-career professionals who are ready to stop running on autopilot and start shaping work (and life) that truly fits who they are now. You don’t need fixing. You’re experienced, capable, and successful on paper. You’ve built something solid. You know how to perform. What you need is space to think — properly think — about what’s next. My coaching isn’t about pushing for “more.” 
It’s about cutting through the noise: expectations, “shoulds,” and identities you’ve outgrown. Not because you’re stuck.  Because you’re ready for something truer. #coaching #definition #icf #midcareer #stubarnescoaching
CLIENT TESTIMONIAL — OLIVIA Choosing the right co CLIENT TESTIMONIAL — OLIVIA Choosing the right coach matters. Here’s how Olivia described her experience working with me. This testimonial reflects what collaboration with my clients really looks like and the impact it creates. You’ll find more client recommendations on my profile. #coaching #midcareer #professionals #career #leadership client testimonial recommendation impact stubarnescoaching
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ICF Associate Certified Coach and Qualified ILM level 7 Executive Coach

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